Everything is scary and beautiful.
I saw Beyoncé for the first time last weekend, and it was the most terrifying event of my life. It was like that ep of Community where Troy meets Levar Burton and can’t even deal so he just freezes and cries about it later.
Now, that’s not to say I didn’t enjoy the concert. The woman puts on one heck of a show. In fact, that show probably sent me through most of the emotions I’m capable of having in just a matter of hours. You go to a Beyoncé show, you feel alive, let me tell you. That’s what your ticket buys— An evening with an international music sensation and reaffirmation of your existence and renewed approval of it.
Part of me wishes I could’ve live-tweeted the concert, but tweeting at concerts is a huge no-no for me, especially when Queen Bey is right in front of my eyeballs, so here’s a quick recap made up of what I would’ve Tweeted given the chance:
- Walking into AAC, and everyone is so fashionable. Beyoncé has THE most stylish fans.
- Found my seat. A kajillion miles away from the main stage but just a handful of feet away from the Bey Stage. Think I’m getting nervous.
- Everyone in here has to have some level of nervous diarrhea right now, yes? It can’t just be one person.
- Ooh, DJ’s playing “Blurred Lines.” Repressing sudden urge to remove top.
- OH, GOD. OH, GOD. The intro’s started! How did tickets not come with a warning for anyone with a heart condition?!
- Six songs in, and I’ve already put my hands on my face while repeating “no, no, no” three times.
- Party’s started. Crowd’s hyped up over Kanye’s bars. Stealing the spotlight and he ain’t even here! #CommitmentToABit #DrippinSwagu
- LIGHTS ARE DIMMING. THIS IS IT. SHE’S GONNA FLY OVER HERE LIKE THE BEAUTIFUL ANGEL SHE IS!
- NO, I’m sweaty! What if she sees me? Should’ve brought some fans w/ me + forced audience members to point them in my direction at all times.
- SHE’S WALKING TOWARD MY SIDE OF THE STAGE.
- Left hand is SHAKING. WHAT ARE YOU DOING, BODY?! DON’T BETRAY ME WHILE I’M TRYING TO BE COOL IN FRONT OF BEYONCÉ.
- It’s happening! She’s looking me straight in the eyes! I see a glimmer of approval! #ProbablyCauseOfMySolangeInspiredOutfit
- Think it would be dumb to take this moment as anything but a formal invitation into the Knowles-Carter fam.
- Accidentally said “Nooooo, come back!” out loud upon her return to the main stage. She didn’t come back.
- Beyoncé keeps wanting us to sing without her. Everyone is hesitant. “We don’t want to disappoint you!!!”
- She’s singing “Halo” now as if we’ve already forgotten THAT SHE’S A FREAKIN’ ANGEL.
- NOOO. IT’S ALL OVER. Sad Bey’s gone, sadder that the lights are back on and everyone can see me in all my emotional grime (+ actual grime!)
- Everyone’s going home now and back to reality to either cut all ties with their exes or profess love to them. #GoodLuck #AndGoodnight